12.12.2012

something new

There are times in your life that you can't wait to forget. And there are others, sweet others, that you wish you could re-live forever. And then, there are the times you wish you could re-live, if just to do it differently! And the times that you've forgotten, but others so graciously remind you, are usually hysterical. But, the singular moments, in which you know you wouldn't change a single thing, those moments make life worth living.

A life can be born, or taken, in just a moment. A life can change, for better, and for worse, in an instant. Everything seems ephemeral. Other times, it is a constant - irregular - series of these instances, that create the change. Sometimes known, sometimes chosen. More often hidden, and subconscious.

With the rain rattling down and a chill in the air I'm struck by how often I've found this cold moment. But the candles are glowing, and my pup is snuggled up, and there is calm. Peace.

I've been working on my business plan and goals for 2013 the last few days, weeks, months, my whole life.

Recurrent items I find are:
"exercise"
"avoid energy vampires"
"adhere to morning routine"
"follow-thru"
"consistency"

I've said it time and time again, and I've re-committed to the re-commitment repeatedly. But, it's time.

It's time again. To start again. To be committed to consistency, follow-thru & exercise.

I've felt disgust in the past - that's led to success. Disgust drove me to change. It's funny to me that I don't feel that now. I've always felt that. Maybe it's so ingrained in me that I can't feel it anymore. Or, maybe, just maybe, I've found something new to drive this mission.

Maybe it will work this time if, instead of fleeing from the disgust, I am moving toward love.

I was given a charm recently that says "Paige" ... someone gave it to me and I knew instinctively that it was from PAIGE jeans that I've always coveted and never been able to wear.  Then they said, "Not everyone has a Paige in their life."

I smiled.