crucial

I'm turning it around- slowly but surely. Out of the darkness.

I lost 2.2 lbs last week. I believe I'm on track to lose another two at my weigh-in with Weight Watchers on Saturday a.m.

I'm in control. And I care again.

Crucial to my success:
- Making coffee @ home to keep me out of starbucks
- 2-3 point muffins
- 100 cal english muffins
- crystal light
- http://mobile.weightwatchers.com
- knowing my plans in advance
- limiting alcohol
- cooking! I'm actually doing it!

I kind of actually CAN cook- when I trust myself. Or when I do it more frequently. The more I do it- the better I get at it. :) I feel www.hipcooks.com coming on again soon.

I am really really tired of the fat photos, the fat clothes, and the fat glances from men. I'm tired of being uncomfortable.

And at this point- almost a year later - having lost about half of my original success - I'm really unclear on just what it is going to take for me to finally take the weight off. Because it's not about not knowing how... it's completely an emotional response and buffering from the world.

I'm most miserable in the summer - b/c it's bathing suit season.
But I get happy again when fall comes. I like the colder weather- and more covered clothing to go with it.

I'm learning that I don't stand up for myself... on so many levels... and that must stop- in order for this endeavor, and me, to succeed!