I feel suddenly free

More Biggest Loser viewing... makeover week. My favorite, I must admit. So inspiring to watch these transformations take place.

Things have seemed to be in spiral for me since last Friday. Fantasies have been blown apart. Dreams died. I feel like those are dramatic statements, but also true. Then the holiday hit. But... I know everything happens for a reason and I think I've just created the space in my life to make the changes I've been rolling around in my head.

Some doors were quietly closed on me. And others, I slammed shut myself. There's that saying about how when a door closes, a window opens, or something like that... maybe I believe that, maybe I doubt it. Maybe it's something people tell themselves to feel better when they lose. Or maybe it's just another way to think about change because it reflects the truth of life-- and it's ultimate transitory nature.

Mainly, I feel suddenly free. And instead of it being overwhelming and causing me to derail-- it's creating a sense of calm, determination, will.

I might fail... but that's ok. And that permission, is all I need today.