You Don't Own Me

This is a DRAFT I wrote on 1 / 2or3 / 12. I'm not sure why I didn't post it then. Fear of commitment?

I've gotten a lot of AMAZING & diverse feedback about my last post. All I can say is, thank you.
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So it's technically no longer January 1st... nevertheless, I present to you, my opening 2012 remarks. ;-)

This is the deal:  365 days. 100 pounds. Daily exercise. Healthful eating. Sweating. Cooking.

Currently, I'm planning Vegas in March, Cabo in July, and Israel in December. [this has already changed...] I will be in smaller clothes than I wore to Vegas last March... or maybe I'll even pack some of the same clothes and just see them fit better. For Cabo, my only goal is a hot bathing suit. I have a full 6 months for that. And as for Israel, I have no idea what clothing will be appropriate yet or if I'll even get to go on that trip, but I do know that I would like to be able to pack light, feel comfortable, appropriate, and unconcerned about things like clothing, on a trip like that.

I know that the path to this achievement is through daily commitment. I am learning how to stay grounded in my goals - not just in weight-loss, but in life.

I am also committing to the HB Surf City Half Marathon in Feb. [Glad I'm keepin that one up!] And, the OC Half in May, along with the LB Half in October.  These races culminate in some sort of special California Dreamin medal that I am totally after! But more importantly, keeping my mileage up for these races will help me get my cardio in regularly. [I'm also now thinking about a Triathlon in April, crazy, I know.]

2011 involved a lot of dating. And while I had fun and learned a lot about relationships (and myself), I'm setting that aside for now. [Maybe.] I can't deal with it.  Or, I don't want to deal with it. It was a tumultuous year... I'd say that tumult started around Oct/Nov. 2010 ... and while I had some really great times, and met some really amazing people, I also experienced low's that I've never hit before [and whomever you are reading this, thinking I am talking about you... check your ego, no, I am not, in fact, talking about you] and I'm just not ready to dive back in.  I think that's ok, for now.  [These are the sorts of disclaimers you have to make when you let a variety of different people crush you in different ways.] What's funny to me is that I've always wanted the weight-loss, to aid in the dating confidence. And I think maybe now, I've experienced the dating confidence, and so it's much less important to me somehow.  Not to say it doesn't still play a role; of course it does.  They will always be intertwined for me in many ways. But somewhere along the way this year, it lost it's power over me.

I don't want to lose weight in order to "find a man." I now want to lose weight for me, myself & I, alone.  And in the same way they've always been intertwined for me, now I know that finding that separation is the way I'm going to succeed.

... Finding separation is the way I'm going to succeed ... 

I may have just found my theme song for the year! "You don't own me..." [I already forgot about this and am SO happy I'm posting, for THIS alone! Hahaha!]

Here's a few more I will be using as inspiration for the year:
King of Anything
Something More
Ain't Settlin'
Baggage Claim
Undo It
Tough
Dirrty
Fighter
Circus
My Prerogative 
Precious Things
Playboy Mommy
Every Little Bit
Sweet Annie
Colder Weather
Whatever It Is
Because of You 
I Do Not Hook Up
You Make Me Sick
Sober


[Oh, this is why I didn't post... I wasn't sure I had included all the songs I wanted to. Oh well. It's an unperfect list. A really UNperfect list...]

To borrow a frequent saying (slogan?) of local philanthropist, Justin Rudd, "Life is good, and getting better."