dreadful anticipation

I've definitely done some stress eating in the last 2 days. But I've still tracked it all.
I haven't run in the last 2 days but I'm getting up bright and early to run tomorrow.
I haven't gotten all my water in, but I am downing some now.
Pinkberry might be my new indulgence, but I can buy Golden Spoon by the quart for significantly less.
I said no to hiking on Saturday, but I'm still going to weigh-in at my meeting faithfully.
I doubt this week's progress, but I know I've never been more committed to the whole process.

When I trained for the marathon, I used to repeat "Your body will forgive you; your mind never will." It tricks you into putting one foot in front of the other to forge ahead. Because you know if you did 20-some miles and gave up just before the finish line, it would be extremely difficult to forgive yourself the defeat. But I'm not at that point yet. I'm at the beginning- not the end. And it's hard to remember the start. I remember 8 miles for the first time hurt like a bitch. We ran out from the Marina along the Culver Blvd bike path, to culver city, and back. It sucked. Maybe I'd gotten new shoes or something for that run. And I remember, 10 miles was easy breezy. It was misty out- good running weather. I'd been cocky about that 8miler- not worried in the least- and got out there and felt it. But since I'd been knocked down by 8, I was humbled standing in front of 10, and it made all the difference.

I'm starting to get confident in my efforts, b/c I haven't been knocked down yet. It'll come. It might be this week. I think this writing is helping to keep me grounded in my efforts though.

I still must measure every tablespoon of my beloved "Better N Peanut Butter" (seriously the greatest stuff ever!) & my fat-free half&half. I'm starting to think I can eyeball it- but I can't.

I went to lunch today w/ an old friend- and I realized how the ordering out is getting easier. It all came naturally...
Fat free dressing on the side please
Half the cheese you normally put in please
Just water, thanks
No, you can have the last pita slice
Its amazing that I measured out 2 tablespoons of hummus on my plate, and that is all I needed.

I'm never sure how the week has gone. Especially after weighing myself every day and seeing the daily fluctuation... I never know what to expect come Saturday morning. This week of holiday & stress eating will be a true eye opener to how much I've managed to ingrain the new habits in me. Is it sick that I sort of actually look forward to the Saturday weigh-in moment? I dread it and strangely anticipate it now.