finding the fabulous

These are the titles from the month of May...

• unperfect
• it's only me
• almost everything
• commitment I've never had before
• "my version"
• change before you have to
• Fri nights, no more ...
• the pieces
• soy milk
• skewed

It's so fitting. No pun intended. I've been twisting and swinging over some really lovely decisions. I hate decision-making. I am an information gatherer and collector and I can argue any side of an argument... and some of them have been pretty colorful lately. But having to decide things, for myself, creates an immense internal pressure to not be wrong. To not screw it up. I don't know what I think will happen if I do... certainly I can't think the world is going to end... but that's sort of how I feel about my "life" decisions.

And it is affecting my weight-loss in a serious way. Those days are over. For now. This week.
Today.

I'm using June 1st as a clean slate to start again. To revive my efforts. I wanted to try out "core" and that just doesn't fit w/ my lifestyle yet... so I'm going back to the point-counting... and will do my best to eat whole, organic foods, even if they cost me more in points (/calories, etc).

I AM getting up to go running at 7am, and then to 24Lift at 8am. That's the goal. If I do just 1 of those things... or, let's be honest- if I walk out the door w/ tennis shoes on before 8am, I'll be happy. I need the exercise back in my life. I need it to feel good. I need it to inspire me. I need it to be grateful I can do it... even when I don't want to get off my couch, or out of bed.

And I need it to ban the smoking forever... I will not be tempted if I know I need to run in the a.m. ...

I want to be back on track. And I've got it in my head... but now I've got to execute...