coming home

I went to 24Lift tonight. That class can seriously kick my ass. Especially b/c I keep going to different instructors- so just when you think you've got their shit down- someone new does something different. Which, I guess is good- so I don't get bored. But oh my god-- it can be painful.

I have 2 points left for the day which I think I am going to fill with a mini bag of popcorn and maybe some defrosted blackberries (my current snack of choice). I also have 5 "activity" points I've earned but I'm not using those.

I had Subway for dinner after my workout which was delicious- and also a new part of the routine.

I vow to try out Turbo Kick Boxing tomorrow-- which I have NEVER done before. I haven't even really watched it. So that'll be an interesting experience. No running yet- I don't think I'm going to get to it until Wednesday. But I think kickboxing will be some fab cardio.

I am actually really excited for my Wednesday workout. I am going to be up in LA so I am going to do my SantaMonica-Venice-Marina run and then go to my old 24hr and use the machines there. No one seemed to offer a class in the afternoon which is when I will be killing time ... so its the perfect excuse to run my old routes. I'm not sure which one I'm doing yet- but I lean towards the Marina loop... or maybe south in the marina out to the bike path. I can't decide yet. But I am excited for it. Who knew?

I'm on a daily reporting kick again... b/c I need it to hold me accountable apparently. I ran some numbers today. And my original estimates to get down to 155 by the end of '08 are somewhat crazy. That was based on a loss of 2.5lbs/wk with no room for error. It is possible to lose that much when you're at high weights like I am now- but there is no way I'll be able to keep that up, realistically. So I still, now, aspire to lose 2.0 lbs/wk. (A little better at falling into reality land- but not by much.) That still gets me to goal by next January, which is ok with me. However, there are significant gaps of time by dropping even into the 1.5 or 1.25 lbs/wk range. 1.5 will put me at summer 09, and 1.25 puts me almost another full year away from my original goal- at December 2009.

So, I know it makes me a little anal for running these #s constantly and playing with the scenarios. What can I say? It's my sickness. And they really are all ok- so long as I hit 155lbs before I hit age 30. That's my big hang-up. But, instead of letting the time slowing get me down... I am using it to stay on track. It makes me realize that any sort of indulgence that could take away .25 or .5 of any given week's loss, just ain't worth it. And it helps me maintain my resolve and determination.

This is most clearly evidenced by eating out, and with alcohol consumption. Two of my faves! I know I cannot eliminate these things entirely because that is totally unrealistic. However, I really need to limit them until I am further along in this journey. I don't do very well with limits in general. That's how I got to be this fat in the first place. So it is a learning process.

I am determined to change this. Committing to this is helping me make the rest of my life more of what I want it to be as well. That is slowly slowly inching towards some sort of shape...
I am not sure Long Beach is where I want to be forever, but I am sure I had to come home to do this.