I did it!

I have lost a total of 20.4 pounds as of 9am on Saturday. I lost 2.4lbs this week.

My victory is somewhat being shadowed by the fact that I have eaten like CRAP this weekend ever since. But I still have a whole week to balance that out. Next week I'll be thrilled so long as I don't gain.

I am 8.6lbs away from my 10% goal. The goal I have NEVER been able to attain no matter how many times I've tried weight watchers. The 20lb goal is nothing compared to what losing "10%" will mean to me.

And I think it's about to get harder. See, even though I've lost 20lbs and that's fantastic, I really put those pounds on in the last 6 months to a year. Before that, I was holding steady for some time at around the weight I am now. So my body knows that weight. My body is comfy w/ that weight and is happy to have returned to it. I am going to have to force my body into losing more fat- despite it's will to store it for winter. ;)

Also, I have to assess the fact that I didn't immediately report my victory. Instead, immediately- I turned to food. Those 2.4 that I took off this week to hit 20, were likely put right back on this weekend. Sneaky-Self-Sabotage, my friend. Its only been 2 days. I have plenty of time to regroup from that over this week... but I did some damage in the last 48 hours. WHY? Cocky-ness from success? Inability to cope w/ success? Denial? Pure emotional joy hand-to-mouth action? I'm not really sure what the hold up here is- but I am ready to admit that there is one here.

And again, that is something I'm going to have to change to keep doing this. And doing it well.

It has to be my first priority.

I ..... must..... be ..... my..... first..... priority..... every..... time.